Last Thursday we had the pleasure of meeting one week old twin boys Ephron and Elijah. Mom Kiley was so impressive – she carried them for 38+ weeks and had a scheduled C-section and was up and moving around just a few days later. “Are you in pain? That’s major surgery!” I said, when she arrived for the shoot. “Ah, I’m fine. It’s pinching a little, but otherwise totally ok!” is what she responded. Total boss.

The boys were beyond adorable.. just like little kittens crying out when they wanted to be fed. Kiley wasnt sure if they were identical yet – I guess sometimes at birth you cant tell if they’re in separate sacs in the placenta, but they sure looked identical, down to matching birth marks.

They sure were beautiful.

Aren’t the best jobs the ones you end a long productive day with, so exhausted that the sheets feel deliciously cool to the touch, so slippery and soft, and your mattress, so unbelievably cloud-like that you just thank god for a great profession that just wears you to the bone with satisfaction?

Whew. Guys. I hit the lottery with my job. How lucky am I? I am constantly pinching myself.

Crawling around on the floor for a shoot, on hands and knees, sweating – oh my goodness, the amount of sweat!… It isnt always pretty but the results usually are, if-I-do-say-so-myself ;). Some days I’m chasing down props at some cockamamie studio sale in Denver, wrestling other photographers for newborn hats and props.. and other days, I’m scoping out the perfect setting sunlight for my next family session. And yet others, I am spending quiet time clicking my shutter away at brand new PEOPLE – little newborn babies, only hours old and completely new and fresh to this world.

I love my work because I can put as much or as little as I want into it. And most days, it’s MUCH. Because it really keeps me energized – I hate to sound corny, but I actually love my job. Some days I have a well of strength and can run for hours, shoot for hours, edit for hours, write for hours. Other days are for record keeping and a nap. I have learned the hard way I am not meant for being a pupil or having a supervisor. I do best when running my own ship! And I am so, so appreciative that I can do that, and I have an audience of viewers who believe in me and enjoy my talents.

I’ll end this post with an inspiring graphic I came across recently. How cool is this? Makes you think about what it is you’re doing, how it is you might want to change and tweek it, and what it is that really drives you.

So Rocky Mountain National Park is completely beautiful. (Duh). I loved plodding up these mountain trails, thick with 41” of snow (and May is just a few days away!).. and the very very THIN with air, at 10,000 feet elevation, sort of made me a bit lightheaded and woozy? Whew was I dying and loving it, all at once.

National Parks – have I ever mentioned how awesome and unique they are? They’re these little villages with tiny spiderwebbed roads pushing through these massive chunks of WILDERNESS, parked in middle of nowhere. Back Country, USA. Just a road here and there, a few campsites, and people speckled throughout who love the outdoors just as much as you do (because you actually have to pay the fees to get in). You are well aware that the one tiny piece of pavement you’re rambling along in your car is the only bumpy road for miiiiiles and miles and miles as you do a 360 degree turn and climb your way through mountain passes and down through alpine meadows. Plus the wildlife is just kind of roaming around, a pack of elk here, some wild turkeys there, and they really could care less that you’re there taking photos and oogling at their beautiful colors.

I sat up here in this spot, on the bald, rocky side of a mountain for a good long while while my husband scrambled off to explore other alpine lakes. I was in pure heaven just perched on this cliff top, 7 months pregnant, like some kind of over stuffed bird. I couldn’t hike much this weekend – just couldn’t do it at 10,000 feet and finally convinced my husband that I’d be fine! In the wilderness! By myself! That I was actually happiest just sitting and breathing and taking in this mind blowing canvas. I was left for 45 blissful minutes to think, empty my brain, and shoot some images in this beautiful park. I could have stayed for hours.

I cant stress enough how important just getting out and clearing your brain chatter is. I want it all the time, I need it. The best way I know how to do it is just sitting like this, in the wilderness. I love churches – all kinds – the beautiful structures and architecture.. but I still contest that the wilderness – God’s Church – is the best church there is. I felt such peace sitting alone watching the sun burn off all the cloudy mist and turn everything a fluid, liquid sunshine. It was like God took a giant wet cloth and wiped my outsides and insides completely clean. And the air!! So fresh, so crisp, so invigorating. My little spot was just so perfect and I’m so grateful for my husband that loves the outdoors as much as I do, and the time we can get away and escape and go exploring.

I loved my church on the side of this mountain for the quiet, reflective time it was. Next time you’re feeling gross and cooped up, step out, breathe in, and just go shoot some photos.

Holy cow, guys. May I interrupt this regularly scheduled program to let you know that I have been struck by a bolt of lightening?

Here I am in our brand new house, some chipper Mozart blaring from the speakers, a fan whirring in the background, and my elderly mutt snoozing in his bed. Just outside a crew of men beat nails into a house being built just across the street in our newly minted neighborhood. And I am sitting here breathing in the fresh mountain air just barely believing we are actually here. Pinch me.

Let me back up. Recently, as in several weeks ago, we moved to Colorado from Alabama.. this was a move that was completely unexpected.. wanted, but abrupt. We found out we were expecting (hello, unplanned little bundle of joy!) and we figured, well.. it’s now or never! Anyway I’ve talked a little about this in recent posts of my photography online — because — woah. It’s really funny sometimes how you have no idea how sort of dead and uninspired you’ve become, until you step off the plane into this bright new place, sunshine blasting your eyes back open, with this new air and new light and atmosphere, new people smiling at you, and you kind of take a second and think, yeah.. woah. This place is pretty great. I feel… alive again!

In any case, that’s what happened here. (Except that we drove. For 3 days straight. With a dog and two cats and a trunk full of plants and suitcases and camera gear and sandwiches and jeez louise we were like a traveling circus careening across the midwest at 85 mph in two cars).

But anyway! Here we are, and I am SHOOTING again! And it feels SO GOOD! And I am waking up and noticing the beautiful light! And I am running back inside to get my camera! I am INSPIRED!

The point of this blog is that I had no idea how dark and cluttered and, kind of.. dirty? Things had become. How disinterested I had become in my very own work. Yikes!

Alamaba was beautiful! It was a space I landed after an incredibly dark period of my life, which was my tail end of working for far too long in beautiful, but very rainy and very cold England. I was out in the world, away from my family and just feeling so cold and alone for my last half of my four years in England, and desperately needing sunlight and love. So of course, Alabama was beautiful! There was sunshine. There was warmth and the people were just so incredibly kind, and sweet, and simple. They just wanted to swap crazy stories and drink sweet tea, which brought my smile back ten fold. And which I desperately needed after cold, miserable, dreary England.

But.. like everything else, things always change. Alabama became uninspiring. There was no room for growth. It was a very small town with several “big fish” photographers in a very small pond, who had the market cornered. Here I waltzed in and a few feathers ruffled. I worked for free time and time again, hoping to drum something – anything – up. I wanted to assist for people, to see new things, just to shoot, dangit! And I was sort of silently locked out of the artistic community. Our loft was dark. Like REALLY dark. I had no idea how something so simple could have such a profound effect on my work. I was uninspired, a woman my husband worked with poked fun at my “little photography projects”, and worked incredibly hard to second shoot for people who either didn’t believe in me, flat out didn’t pay me, or didn’t want me as competition.

Woof. It was a tough spot in my life.

All of this is to say — sometimes it’s hard to see! But it’s so important to get out of your dark spaces. Both mentally and physically. (And spiritually, and emotionally, and everything else!). To be able to let the light in, let the creativity and inspiration in, you have to be in a space you think is beautiful and surround yourself with that nurturing love and protection. Both in the form of your work space and in the people close to you. If there are people that don’t believe in you — limit your time with them! If your work space is cluttered or there’s not enough light (a simple but apparently very important thing for me, not surprisingly I guess because, duh, I AM a photographer), CLEAN IT OUT. If you love plants, add them to your office space! You spend 8 hours a day here, you might as well make it totally YOU, totally clean, totally wonderful. I have a new clover plant that reminds me EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. how lucky I am to be doing what I do, working for myself, and loving it. Here are the tiny, beautiful white flowers from it. It sits about 2 feet from me, always in view:

The effects are profound. We are in a brand new house, our dream space, which will become my new headquarters, which has TONS of beautiful golden, clean Colorado light flooding in from the mountains. And holy crap guys. It’s inspiring. I feel warm, I feel clean, I feel fresh. I’ve been photographing more than I can remember in YEARS, and I feel like I’m thawing from a long frozen period. It’s still winter here, but signs of spring are everywhere. If you’re feeling something similar, try cleaning out your work space. The act is simple but the effects may surprise you.